lost in a fairytale world

copyrighted by caryn
Thursday, March 29, 2007

its a recharging moment..

its tiring..
its so tiring..
independent..
dependable..
cheerful..
gd at cheering ppl..

to my gf..
to my bf..
to my closer frens..
to the ppl in sch..
to the ppl at home..

its damn tiring..

who really ask me to stop..
who really allow me to stop..

i nid to recharge myself to move on n be the 'model' Cynthia..

who really takes an effort to take note abt me..
to know tt i'm always putting up a brave front..

not even a guy tt spent 4 yrs with me..
not even mom tt knew me ferever..

i wanna be a Cynthia tt can cry when i get scolded..
i wanna be a Cynthia tt can get everything tt i wan..
i wanna be a Cynthia tt can buy everything i wan..
i wanna be a Cynthia tt can idle n be inefficient..
i wanna be a Cynthia tt is not so responsible, disorganised and has no plans fer the future..

but can i really be like tt?

Cynthia is being sterotyped..
n i gotta live up to the name of Cynthia..

its freaking freaking tiring..

teddy tagged me earlier to say abt weird things abt Cynthia..
i think if i really think abt it..i think the list wld nv end..wld nv end..

i cant even remember the last time i din have to live up to my own name..
i was model Cynthia the day i had memory..
sometimes i cant wait to return to the arms of the Holy Father..
till den i can rest..

- cyn -
in a fairytale world (:
00:27
Sunday, March 25, 2007

its a test 7..

Enough is enough - and you feel that you've had enough for a while. You don't need any more battles. You just would like to be able to shout 'stop' and experience a little peace and calm - even if it be only for a little while. This doesn't mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world - it just means that you are seeking some respite, some physical or emotional relaxation that could release some of the the tension and possibly reduce the internal conflict.You are totally dissatisfied with your present situation. Matters are not going right for you and you are seeking a means of escape. Your mental state of mind necessitates that you need to change your thinking patterns. Remember, if one particular modus operandi doesn't seem to work, then try something different.Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.The tensions and stresses that you are experiencing at this time are, you feel, beyond your capabilities or your reserves of strength to cope with. You feel inadequate and in a constant state of anxiety.You are attempting to escape from this situation into a secure environment in which you may be permitted to relax and recover, free from outside interference.

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

- cyn -
in a fairytale world (:
22:28
Sunday, March 18, 2007

its a test 6...

StupidTester.com says I'm 8% Stupid! How stupid are you? Click Here!

Your Score Summary
Overall, you scored as follows:
89% scored higher (more stupid),3% scored the same, and 8% scored lower (less stupid).
You are 8% stupid. This means...You are our next Einstein. Wow! Keep up the great thinking.

- cyn -
in a fairytale world (:
00:38
Tuesday, March 13, 2007

its a emotional ride..

its all my fault tt i cause myself to be in such a state..
sigh..
i guess wad i said killed it all..n its really over..
i thot i wanted it..but its not as easy as i thot it was..
i'm beginning to miss u..my tears still flow bcoz of u..
y din i learn from my lesson n make life easier for myself..

p.s: congrats on ur first time pass..i realised i do miss you..

- cyn -
in a fairytale world (:
20:55
Sunday, March 11, 2007

its a STRESSFUL week...

i wanted to rant abt everything..
but i guess its all over..
don't nid to talk abt it..

bottomline:
i cry to destress
i'm SICK of the club
i do nid personal time
i'm easily affected by him BIG time
i'm thankful for a understanding bear tt knows tt i'm freaking stressed out without asking..(love ya teddy)
i'm beginning to understand lil pleasures of life he subtly teaches me

- cyn -
in a fairytale world (:
21:30
Monday, March 05, 2007

its a test X...

Kindness

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Perfect BF/GF Piechart - QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

dunno how true this is tho...comments?

- cyn -
in a fairytale world (:
22:27